To curb “high-priced bride gifts”, 60% of the respondents called for the formation of a new trend of civilized marriage – Xinhuanet

To combat “high-priced bride gifts”, 60% of the respondents called for the formation of a new trend in civilized marriages

More than 50% of the respondents believe that “high-priced betrothal gifts” are mainly related to the psychology of comparison and local customs

In recent years, the amount of betrothal gifts has continued to rise in some places, increasing the burden on young people in marriage. A survey of 1,001 respondents conducted by the China Youth Daily Social Survey Center United Questionnaire Network (wenjuan.com) showed that 56.0% of the respondents felt that bride price was important in the marriage process and was indispensable for marriage etiquette. . In order to control “high-priced betrothal gifts”, 60.5% of the respondents hope that the whole society will form a new trend of civilized marriage, and 59.3% of the respondents recommend the implementation of solid adult ceremony education to help young people establish a healthy outlook on marriage, love and life.

  Sociologists analyze: Comparison of betrothal gifts is prevalent, and the proper etiquette significance is ignored

Ma Chen, a post-2000 graduate student from a university in Beijing, believes that bride price is very important in the marriage process and is a ritual since ancient times. The amount of the bride price should be decided by the couple after consultation between the parents of both parties, and the method of disposal should also be decided by the couple.

Wang Gang, a married post-95s employee of a company in Nanjing, believes that the most important thing in a marriage is whether two people are compatible and whether their parents approve of it. In contrast, the amount of the bride price is less important.

In the survey, 56.0% of the respondents felt that the bride price was important in the marriage process and was an indispensable part of the marriage etiquette; 27.8% of the respondents felt that it was not important, as the bride price makes the threshold for marriage higher and higher; 16.2% of the respondents said Hard to say.

Cai Lei, an associate professor at the School of Social Sciences at Wuhan University, said that in ancient times, bride price was called betrothal gift and bride price, and it refers to the property paid by the man’s family to the woman’s family during the process of concluding a marriage. “The betrothal gift in traditional society is essentially a kind of marriage etiquette, which symbolizes the establishment of the marriage relationship, declares the legality and validity of the marriage, reflects the man’s emphasis and commitment to the marriage, and also contains the good expectations for the marriage. Now some people Overemphasis on the economic function of betrothal gifts has led to increasingly high amounts of betrothal gifts, and the trend of comparison has become increasingly popular. Many young people and even their parents no longer understand the etiquette and auspicious meanings of betrothal gifts.”

During the Pre-Qin Dynasty, pepper and peaches were used as betrothal gifts, implying many children, good fortune and abundant fruits. Later, wild geese became betrothal gifts in ancient marriages because of their loyalty to their partners.

“With the rapid development of social economy, the number of betrothal gifts has gradually increased. From a few hundred yuan in the 1990s to tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of yuan now, in some places there are even super-high-priced betrothal gifts. This has lost the The original meaning of the betrothal gift has become a kind of comparison, or even a unilateral request. “Ma Chen believes that each family’s financial strength is different, and blind comparison will eventually make the two people unhappy and even break up because of the betrothal gift, which is not worth it. .

In the survey, respondents believed that “high-priced betrothal gifts” are mainly related to the comparison mentality (52.5%), local customs (51.3%), and traditional concepts (51.2%). Others include money worship (50.4%), urban-rural disparity, and resource allocation. Uneven (48.4%), local population sex ratio imbalance (25.8%), etc.

“The imbalance of gender structure in the marriage market and the relative shortage of female resources have made ‘high-priced betrothal gifts’ become an advantageous competitive resource in the marriage market, which has continuously pushed up the price of betrothal gifts.” Cai Lei said that the improvement of women’s status and the change in childcare concepts have made The cost of raising a woman has increased, and so has the amount of bride price paid to repay the cost of raising a woman. In addition, the shortage of leisure time among young people has led to the popularity of the dating model, which has given rise to a utilitarian attitude towards marriage and love, and “high-priced betrothal gifts” have become popular.

  To combat “high-priced betrothal gifts”, 60.5% of the respondents hope that the whole society will form a new trend of civilized marriage.

Ma Chen believes that curbing “high-priced betrothal gifts” requires a change of mindset starting from young people, and young people should become practitioners of abandoning “high-priced betrothal gifts”. Nowadays, some young people advocate simple weddings, eliminating some of the tedious procedures in traditional weddings. Instead, they enjoy it and truly enjoy the wedding process.

Qi Xia, born in the 1990s, and her boyfriend’s hometowns are far apart, and their parents don’t have many opportunities to meet, so they did a lot of work before their parents met. “I first asked my family about the betrothal gift. My mother told me a certain amount according to local customs. This amount is average in the local area. I also inquired about the situation in my boyfriend’s hometown in advance and felt that this amount was not very different from the situation in my boyfriend’s hometown. , and then I talked to my boyfriend, and then asked my boyfriend to discuss it with his parents. Sure enough, there was no conflict about the bride price. When the parents met, their family came directly with the bride price, and my parents had no objection. “

Cai Lei believes that young people should have a rational understanding of the meaning and value of betrothal gifts, fully understand the ceremonial functions and cultural significance of betrothal gifts, regard them as a solemn commitment and good blessing for marriage, and weaken the economic compensation and support of betrothal gifts. value. The price of betrothal gifts is not directly proportional to the happiness of marriage. The truly meaningful and valuable pre-marriage preparation is to learn the knowledge and skills of managing a marriage and cultivate the ability to live a happy life, rather than simply pursuing “high-priced betrothal gifts”. The price of the betrothal gift should be negotiated based on the actual situation of the families of both parties, and blind comparisons should not be made.

To control “high-priced betrothal gifts”, 60.5% of the respondents hope that the whole society will form a new trend of civilized marriage. 59.3% of the respondents recommend the implementation of solid adult ceremony education to help young people establish a healthy outlook on marriage, love and life, and 55.9% of the respondents suggested promoting gender equality and changing traditional ideas such as favoring boys over girls. 44.7% of the respondents suggested special measures to deal with social problems such as “high-priced betrothal gifts”. 33.4% of the respondents suggested improving the rural pension security system. 31.9% Respondents suggested accelerating rural revitalization and continuously narrowing the gap between urban and rural areas.

Ma Chen suggested reducing the mentality of comparison and showing off and promoting good social customs. Strengthen communication among young people and make low-priced betrothal gifts a new social custom.

“I have a good friend. Her husband has been pursuing her since she was in school. He pursued her for many years and finally got married. She is very confident in this relationship and doesn’t care about the amount of the bride price. It is all decided by the man’s family, but the man’s family doesn’t want to To let a girl suffer, all manners are very thorough. “Qi Xia believes that on the one hand, women should have confidence in the marriage they are about to enter, consider the other party and the family as a whole, and not care too much about the details; on the other hand, if If both parties can communicate calmly and think from each other’s perspective, the issue of bride price will not be a big problem.

Wang Gang believes that to combat “high-priced betrothal gifts”, we must guide young people to change their minds. At the same time, both men and women can create more rituals in addition to the bride price, such as traveling together and doing something more impressive.

Cai Lei said that as a traditional marriage custom, the essence of bride price is a solemn commitment to marriage. If the bride price is completely eliminated, it will be difficult to find a more effective way to reflect this meaning. Moreover, many families now regard the bride price as a symbol of their own dignity and value, and it is difficult for them to accept the “zero bride price” marriage form. He believes that it may be more practical to set an upper limit on the price of betrothal gifts and implement “low betrothal gifts”. Moreover, “low betrothal gifts” have achieved results in many places. Publicity and promotion should be increased to create a good and healthy wedding trend. At the same time, we strive to explore and publicize the etiquette connotation of traditional betrothal gifts, and advocate the use of traditional folk gifts with auspicious and festive meanings to replace cash betrothal gifts, so that betrothal gifts can return to their “ceremonial” purposes.

Among the respondents, 38.3% were men and 61.7% were women. Post-00s accounted for 22.3%, post-95s accounted for 22.7%, post-90s accounted for 33.4%, post-85s accounted for 12.6%, and post-80s accounted for 9.0%. First-tier cities accounted for 30.2%, second-tier cities accounted for 39.0%, third- and fourth-tier cities accounted for 22.0%, county towns accounted for 4.6%, and rural areas accounted for 4.2%.

(Wang Ronghui also contributed to this article) (Reporter Wang Pinzhi)